I recently bought a documentary called "Kiss Loves You", all about the dedicated fans of the rock band Kiss, and it focuses on a few years previous to the Kiss Reunion in 1996. Back then, tribute bands were popular, and fans held their own Kiss Konventions where they traded, sold and displayed collectibles. Then Kiss reunited, and everything changed. It's a fascinating little documentary and very well done (click here for the trailer).While I won't go so far as to love Kiss as much as those guys, I admit it. I'm a closet Kiss fan.
Blame it on my youth. I first loved them when I was 5 (I took "Love Gun" to kindergarten for show-and-tell), and to me, they were the coolest band on the face of the earth. They had super-human powers, played great rock 'n roll, and dang it, they looked cool. Being a drummer, Peter Criss was my idol. Of course, I grew up.When I was in the prime of my Kiss years, I saw the TV special "Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park". Wow....this was pure heaven for me; being too young to actually go to the concerts, this was the closest I was ever going to get to see my heroes. I remember it was really cool, and I loved every second of it. What can I say...I was 6.
After viewing from a safe distance of my adult years, I can easily say it's a terrible movie. One of the worst, really. Caught in the glow of a mystical utopia where Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss and Ace Frehley ruled the world, I will always understand why I loved this movie. But now, I enjoy it for completely different reasons."Phantom of the Park" in itself signified everything wrong with KISS at the time, but also everything that epitomized it. It was all about the spectacle, the image and the merchandising...not about the music. KISS wanted to be the biggest band in the world, and they achieved it for a little while. But no achievement like that comes without price.
"The Phantom" movie proved to be the beginning of the end for Ace Frehley, who found a new confidence in his writing and singing abilities, and seemed to be the only one in a the band with a level head (when it came to music). If it wasn't for the debacle of the film, Ace might not have angry enough to prove something - resulting in his 'solo album' being the best of all four solo Kiss efforts.
Doing what could be done with a TV-movie budget, they really tried to capture the energy and awesome spectacle that was a KISS concert: the laser beams, the smoke, the music, the power, and the fire breathing (they edited out Gene's blood-spitting antics, 'cuz it might scare the kiddies and mothers don't want their children spitting ketchup all over the kitchen floor in homage...trust me).In the movie, Kiss are given mystical powers via a box of glowing cookies (I am not making this up), and this allows the special-effects department to go to town.
Paul shoot lasers from his eye, has super-hearing powers, and obviously some mystical thought powers, as he can figure out what's going on when the rest of us can't. As for Gene, he has super-strength, breathes fire, hunches about like Frankenstein and growls like a tiger when annoyed. With all these effects going on, I can't even tell they can't act.
Ace has the power to disappear and re-appear and only a couple of one-liners. Peter...well, Peter has no special powers. They even overdubbed his real voice, so he doesn't even have the power to speak.The plot?
A really stereotypical evil "mad genius" gets peeved at the amusement park officials for cutting his funding, so he decides to take revenge out during the weekend that Kiss is performing. No idea why they call him a 'phantom'. For some reason, his revenge plan includes turning his assistant into a robot and the assistant's girlfriend spends the movie looking for him. KISS then save the day. And not once do they hit on her...this is obviously a fantasy.Kiss were so embarrased by this movie, they kept it out of circulation for years - the only available copy was an out-of-print VHS released by a low-budget company, with a badly-faded print from the TV broadcast.
The band finally released the movie for real last year in a KISSOLOGY DVD box set, but it was the rarely-seen 'theatrical' version which had entirely new footage, a different soundtrack and a lot of other stuff was changed. The movie still stinks, but you can now buy an awesome looking copy.KISS and this movie are staples of my childhood. But then again, so are the Bay City Rollers, but we won't talk about that. "The Phantom" is a total guilty pleasure of mine; it's loud, it's huge and best of all, it's really dumb fun. But for however bad it is, some kid out there is discovering it for the first time, and living out a rock 'n roll fantasy in front of the mirror, jamming away with his Dad's Speedo tennis racket cranked all the way up to eleven.
But one day, he'll grow up, too.
